


You look like the sun (and burn like it too)

by Atlanta_Black



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, I'm Sorry, Unrequited Love, and when i say she's a mess and pansy doesn't realize, because hermione is really in love with them both, but not really, she's a whole mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 10:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19904497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atlanta_Black/pseuds/Atlanta_Black
Summary: Pansy has never been good at coping with emotional distress. She doesn’t know how much longer she has hiding in these hollow bones.A short piece written for an exercise





	You look like the sun (and burn like it too)

Sometimes Pansy sits and watches the sun play off of Hermione’s skin and thinks that this must be what religion feels like. Thinks that this feeling filling her up must be what love feels like. Thinks that this must be the type of story that fairytales are born from. 

Sometimes Hermione will sit and talk with her for hours. Will babble on about whatever topic she’s researching or go off on a rant about whichever ridiculous law has caught her attention that week. Pansy doesn’t think anything will ever compare to having the full force of Hermione’s attention turned on her. She always brushes a kiss against Pansy’s cheek before she leaves for class, lingers a second longer than she should and Pansy feels as if her heart is going to explode from the force of her yearning. 

Draco says it’s only a matter of time before they end up together. Says he’s never seen two people spend so much time together if they weren’t dating. Sometimes she’ll acknowledge that he has a point. Most of the time she scoffs and asks why she should care, does her best to maintain the coldhearted facade that she was so well known for in high school. 

She still ends up clinging to his words and when she starts to think she’s dreamed up all the signs, she’ll remind herself that Draco sees it too. She’ll think of lingering kisses and Hermione dozing off against her shoulder. Of waking up from naps, Hermione’s fingers dragging through her hair. Thinks of late nights and too many drinks and Hermione’s fingers warm against her cheek. She holds all of these moments close to her chest like a promise. 

But promises are made to be broken. That’s what she tells herself when Hermione walks in, glowing like the sun, Ronald Weasley’s arm draped around her shoulders. Promises are made to be broken and so are friendships. That’s what she tells herself anyways. When Hermione stops sleeping over and stops kissing her cheek. She ignores the way Hermione sometimes leans in and then aborts the movement, something like guilt in her eyes. Ignores the way that she never falls asleep on Pansy’s shoulder anymore but still runs her fingers through Pansy’s hair when she thinks she’s asleep. 

Ignoring the small things leads to ignoring texts and ignoring phone calls. Deleting voicemails without listening to them. Ignoring Draco’s worried stares and the way that some days she forgets what feeling felt like. She goes to work and she goes to class and she drinks her way through her dad’s alcohol collection. Ignores the way she no longer recognizes herself. 

Pansy has never been good at coping with emotional distress. Has never been good with being abandoned. She keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. The consequences of her apathy and recklessness to catch up to her. Doesn’t think she can drink herself into a place where she no longer wants to touch her face and trace the lines of her smile. She doesn’t know how much longer she has hiding in these hollow bones.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo, I have every intention of writing a longer Pansmione fic. I feel like I say that a lot, about having intentions to write a longer piece. When I do eventually get around to writing it I plan on it being much less heartbreaking. Also don't hate Ron, he really has no idea.


End file.
